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Ellen Tackles 'Queen of Mean' Controversy in 'Final' Comedy Special, but Gay Twitter Scoffs

Kilian Melloy READ TIME: 3 MIN.

Ellen DeGeneres' latest Netflix comedy special, "For Your Approval," drew mixed reviews from critics, while Gay Twitter proved a tough (if virtual) room for the out comedian.

Taking to the stage amid a flurry of headlines, clips, and snippets from talking heads, DeGeneres quickly got to the point – at least, from her own point of view.

"I got kicked out of show business," the "Finding Nemo" star told her audience. "Yeah, because I'm mean. You can't be mean and be in show business. They'll kick you out. No mean people in show business."

She was riffing on the "queen of mean" meme that gained widespread circulation in 2020 after allegations emerged that her talk show – "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" – was a "toxic workplace," The Hollywood Reporter recounted.

Hollywood, DeGeneres went on to add, "Kicked me out before because I told them I was out. No gay people in show business. They kick you out. Can't be gay and be in show business."

Indeed, when she came out in 1997 it seemingly nearly cost Ellen her career, although it was also a watershed moment for queer representation. DeGeneres was starring in her own sitcom on ABC – "The Ellen Show" – and her brand of humor had made her a beloved star. But things quickly changed: The sitcom's ratings plummeted, and "The Ellen Show" was canceled in 1998. Even so, Ellen's coming out is recalled now in the same breath as the success of '90s sitcom "Will & Grace," about a gay single man and his straight female roommate, as having made possible decades' worth of progress toward LGBTQ+ equality.

Closing in on her eventual punchline, Ellen went on to tell her "For Your Approval" audience: "Eventually they're going to kick me out a third time for being old – mean, old and gay, the triple crown."

The comic went on to say that the root of the problem was a facile perception of her as being someone with no rough edges – or, at least, being perceived as someone who sought to project that image. Referencing her talk show sign-off in which she ended each episode by reminding her viewers to "be kind," Ellen told the "For Your Approval Crowd," "Had I ended my show by saying, 'Go fuck yourself,' people would've been pleasantly surprised," Page Six recounted.

It was a good laugh line, but, some critics suggested, not enough to make the standup special stand out. While The Wrap gave the show generally favorable marks, calling it "often hilarious" and "relatable," TIME Magazine slammed the set as "not particularly funny" and took issue with what it said was Ellen's name-dropping. ("How humiliating to arrive early to a party at Usher's and find oneself helping the staff set up!" the TIME review chastised. "How very Ellen to miss dinner with Mick Jagger because she's already changed into sweatpants for the night!")

The New York Times, similarly, zeroed in on the special's lack of relatability, though the review also singled out Ellen's apologia as a bright spot. Suggesting that the backlash to her "nice" persona, and the "queen of mean" label that came with it, had to do with the fact that she was a woman in a position of authority on the set of her show, Ellen pointed to the double standard that women in leadership roles often contend with. Aggressive male leaders are admired for their forcefulness; women in the same roles are dismissed with misogynistic slurs.

"You could see this as DeGeneres changing the subject or avoiding accountability," the Times noted. "But that doesn't mean she isn't right."

The audience agreed: Refusing to apologize, Ellen said, "I'm a strong woman," and the crowd reacted with enthusiasm.

Gay Twitter had its own take, with some negative tweets focusing on the "strong woman" remark.


Others zeroed in on the opening of the show, which some reviewers found to be – in an echo of Variety's assessment – "self-indulgent."



For some, the show itself, rather than specific moments, was worthy of shade.










by Kilian Melloy , EDGE Staff Reporter

Kilian Melloy serves as EDGE Media Network's Associate Arts Editor and Staff Contributor. His professional memberships include the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association, the Boston Online Film Critics Association, The Gay and Lesbian Entertainment Critics Association, and the Boston Theater Critics Association's Elliot Norton Awards Committee.

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